Anyway. So much going on. No time to write. Gahhhhhhh.
Remind me to tawlk about the following tawpics (over cawfee, dahlings):
Popping my cherry (As in losing my restaurant gig virginity; my hymen, on the other hand, still is available to the highest bidder)
My outstanding customer service skills in the face of a query on ass lube and BUTTSECKS
A bunch of Egyptian costume shit that I bought
And so on, and so on.
Until then, some words of wisdom. As tempting as respiration may sound, don't EVER inhale while spraying a hair tonic that contains fenugreek and cayenne. You may as well do a line of curry powder.
And now, to quote Creamy: Alas, Cottage Cheese. We will never be. For you are a slut, and I am but a lactating fool.